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Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future.  Seriously, the pace of my life has been such that securing even the slightest bit of time for anything other than sleeping, laundry, bill payments, and cleaning was damn near impossible.  It is funny how my sister, the new mom with an 18 month old, can summon help within moments of placing a phone call.  Meanwhile, spinster big sis, me, can receive no such help because I have no entered the noble business of providing my family babies.  Ok, I love my sister and that does sound terribly jealous.  It isn’t that I’m jealous.  I babysit all the time and realize how hard doing things that I do all the time are when you have a baby to watch after too.  I love babysitting because it reminds me of the simple freedoms I enjoy by not having any kids.  However, it is frustrating that so much of my family’s attention, time, money, and effort is so completely consumed in one place.  As I’ve been struggling and asking for help, I am not getting it.  That leaves me feeling terribly alone.

Since my last post, I’ve continued to hold my methotrexate injections.  One, I simply hate giving myself the shot; I get all creeped out that I’ve done it wrong and I’ll get some sort of crazy flesh-eating disease at the injection site.  Secondly, I was just so damn spent that I needed to get some sort of immune system back online to help me finally kick an 8 month long sinus infection and associated, disgusting, side-splitting cough.  I even ended up with pnuemonia.  I can’t remember if I wrote about that, I don’t think that I did.  I was coughing so badly that I couldn’t get any air in and I was freaking out.  It kept me awake at night, caused me to have to pull over while driving, and happened at the same time that the Swine Flu outbreak started.  So, with such a nasty cough and all over crappy appearance, everyone around me seemed to quaratine me away.  Finally, I made my way to the urgent care and was pronounced with walking pnuemonia.  This is the first week I’ve even started to get back to feeling good.  Thank God for summer sun, fresh air, and vacation!

All of my health struggles have really played havoc with my fitness plans.  That isn’t to say I’m defeated, as I know I am not.  I am merely just getting back to some strength.  Not having any sort of medically based treatment plan in place for the R.A. makes the pain a little tougher to bear, but I do.  I’ve even enjoyed going to the driving range to hit golf balls.  I had my clubs regripped with “an arthritic” grip.  I also bought a new bag that only weighs 3.5 pounds.  It makes it a lot easier to get in and out of the car.  I’ve noticed that my hands stiffen after golfing – just as they do with tennis – so I’ve found that if I just tuck them under my butt to keep them warm and compressed, that works.  I do this while sitting to watch TV.  I have to admit that asking the golf store guy about grips made me feel old.  They even recommended that I try the “transition” clubs for seniors.  Maybe I’ll do that eventually, but for now I still like swinging my heavy and powerful Big Berthas.

Golf aside, the tennis is fine.  I am continuing to run programs despite the effects of this slumping economy.  Sign-ups are down.  My costs are the same.  I will not make a profit this year.  I am okay with this since I prepared for it.  I’ve been really cutting out all kinds of frivolous spending.  Still, I will probably have to dive into some credit to get through the next nine weeks.  I’m still having to wrestle with my food issues.  Luckily, being on such a tight budget limits me from over indulging in much of anything.

I’ve been keeping up with my Go-Wear-Fit.  It is one of the coolest things I’ve ever purchased for fitness.  I had my bike tuned up and I’ve been riding.  This hurts me all over, but I don’t care since I can endure it.  I love feeling like I’m flying when I get up into a high gear on a flat stretch so that I’m barely pedalling and just screaming along!  It is great and my hopes are to get my mileage up.  I still need a day to recover after I’ve done a ride.  Whereas, that stiffness and soreness just pissed me off at first, I now embrace it as part of just knowing that I am doing it.  I don’t know many R.A. patients that can still do twenty-five miles.  Of course, I also don’t personally know many other R.A. patients, I just know that my mom hasn’t done anything like that since the early 80’s.

Speaking of R.A. mommy, she has been doing Pilates.  She spends beaucoup bucks to have private lessons on a reformer machine.  My mom claims to be having a whole heck of a lot of bad days.  She is really limping and says that it is painful in all of her lower body joints.  She has been changing her meds and adding in new stuff for the always new conditions that seem to errupt from complications of this and that.  She scolds me for not taking my shots.  She also buys these subscription only, hosptial based R.A. newsletters and magazines.  She gets two copies and always gives me stacks of this stuff to read.  She claims that I need to be well informed.  I agree that is probably true, but I’d rather my doctor is well informed for me.  I have enough to think about and keep track of.  I also don’t like to use my free time to read up on my friggin’ disease.  Yuck!  I don’t want to think more about it, I just want to tough it out.

Maybe this thick-headedness is not the best thing for my long-term joint health, but I don’t care right now.  I just need to do what I think is right for right now.  So, for now, I’ll continue to try and work out, eat healthy, sleep better and more, and enjoy some down time with my vacation.  More later as I’m sure I’ll have some more stories to share.

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I’m currently reading:

The Sacred Balance by David Suzuki