I’ve enjoyed the emptiness of the school’s weight room at 6:30 a.m.  I haven’t really pushed myself outside of my safety zone since I am just there with my assistant coach and a few of the guys from the team.  These guys will soon be switching to the daily afternoon slot.  So, just yesterday (Friday) I went down to the weight room after school.  Big mistake.

I walked through the door and saw a group of football stars hoggin’ all the equipment.  Once they saw me they were all shouting my name and egging me on to lift with them.  The rumors of my lifting days have circulated through to this crowd now from former students of mine.  One of my current kids loaded up a bar with 35’s and said, “come on show us how you can do this!”  The other guys gathered around.  “That is more than I can do” a little freshman confessed.  I was wearing my dress clothes and didn’t know if I should try.  The last time I did, I fatigued and had to get the assist to lift it back to the rack.  My student swung around to spot me, “come on, do it!”  My competitve spirit got the better of me and I plopped down on the bench.  I wrapped my hands around the bar and counted out “1-2-3” then my student lifted the bar off.  “Got it?” he asked.  “Uh huh.” I muttered and began the drop to my chest.  I knocked out 3 reps rather fluidly – which shocked me.  Hmmm, lifting this first before going through a warm up was key.  “Ok, now do the 45’s,” he said as he was already changing the plates.

“I haven’t done this in three years,” I whined back.  “Come on, I’ll spot and just do two.”  Against reason, I did it.  The other kids were impressed.  “You’ve gotta be one of the strongest teachers here,” one boy said.  “I’m sure I’m not,” I shot back.  I then did some medicine ball abs with the guys.  It was a lot of fun being active.  Yeah, it hurt.  I knew it would.  But I’m so glad that I did that since I know that I won’t always be able to, RA or not, age will limit me eventually.  No point in acting like a senior citizen when I’m not.

Today is shot day.  I’m not sure what I’m doing about that still.  I’ve been very congested and feeling run down (per my last post), so I’m just not confident that my meds will actually help.  I think I have bloodwork and a subsequent office visit coming up really soon.  I need to find some time to go bleed into a vial or two or three.  Tip: make sure to drink a ton of water so that the blood actually flows.  I had some really hard sticks over the summer when I was dehydrated.

I’m finally resolved about the summer.  I am NOT going to do my tennis camps during the day.  I’ll still teach the adults at night and on the weekend, but I’m looking into just doing some hard core fitness work on myself.  I know how to do it – I just need to do it.  So, hopefully that will be good.  I’m not sure how the money will work, but I’m willing to struggle for two months to make up for the year plus I’ve just pushed my health needs aside to run like a maniac through my work weeks.

My friend from college came up for a visit.  We were discussing the good ole days.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  I remember walking across campus in the bitter Midwest winter weather.  We talked about our skit from acting class and the places we used to go and hang out.  I’m so grateful to have her there to stir up some really nice moments from my past like that.  I’m grateful….for so much.

Tonight I attended the funeral service for one of my student’s little sister.  The girl died at age 8 from hydro-encephalitis.  I was filled with guilt that I allow myself to think that RA is so bad.  This little girl was never able to walk.  I complain about how walking hurts – at least I can walk.  The service was nice and I am glad that I was there to show my support.  On my way home I was struck with a craving for anything fried and fast food.  I realized that is was just my response to being triggered emotionally.

It wasn’t too hard to actually NOT go through a drive and order, then devour, some crap.  Rather, I went to Whole Foods and bought a bunch of healthy stuff.  I’ll probably have even more craving tomorrow, and the next few days, but I really want to get some of my fitness back.  I could give a shit about ever wearing two inch heals, but you can bet that I want to be able to grab hold of a bar with more than the 45’s on it so that knock out some solid lifting while I still can.  I still don’t know about that shot….I think I’ll opt out again.

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